Guidelines in finding professional help in case your child is missing or the victim of sexual exploitation
In addition to Child Identification, we here at Ident-A-Kid are also concerned with you and your child’s mental well being. If your child has gone missing or has been the victim of sexual exploitation, it is important to take the necessary steps to make sure your child’s physical and mental health is taken care of. Also, the families’ of missing and exploited children may need professional help in order to process and grieve. Below is some information from the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children about finding and deciding on professionals that can help you and your family.
Families faced with the problem of a missing or sexually exploited child may benefit from the help of a knowledgeable and experienced professional. In missing-child cases of all types, parents and guardians may need to call on the services of a qualified and experienced therapist to help them address family stress during the missing event, child recovery and family reunification, or grieving process if the child is recovered deceased. In family-abduction cases in particular, the searching parent or guardian will need an attorney to assist in filing a civil legal action, recovering the child, and ensuring law enforcement brings the abductor parent/guardian to justice. In cases of child sexual exploitation therapists and physicians are helpful both in diagnosing exploitation took place and treating the problems caused by the exploitation.
The National Center for Missing & Exploited Children has compiled these guidelines for parents and guardians when needing to find professionals — therapists, physicians, and attorneys — to assist in treating and resolving cases of missing or sexually exploited children. These guidelines were originally compiled in cooperation with the National Resource Center on Child Sexual Abuse and Center for the Study of Trauma at the University of California at San Francisco.
Counseling in Cases of Missing Children
Child disappearance for any reason — whether a nonfamily abduction, family abduction, or runaway episode — is a loss that usually creates extreme stress within families. Parents, guardians, and the other children in the family may experience anxiety, fear, sadness, anger, or guilt. While there may be little prior life experience to prepare families for this traumatic event, each family develops its own way of coping. In some instances the other children in the family may be forgotten or ignored due to all of the attention being given to the missing child. You may choose to rely on your own resources along with the support of relatives and friends. Other families, however, may find counseling gives family members the opportunity to express and better cope with their thoughts and feelings about the disappearance, reorganize family responsibilities, and keep communication open during a difficult and often painful period.
Every family with a missing child hopes for a successful recovery. This recovery, however, is only the first part of a family reunification process. The family and recovered child will need to discuss their experiences during the missing event and then begin to rebuild family life. Because the experiences of child victims of a nonfamily abduction, family abduction, or runaway episode may be very different, the tasks of the family and recovered child during reunification may vary.
If your child has been abducted by a nonfamily member, reunification counseling should begin with an evaluation of the impact of the missing event on both your family and child, as well as an assessment of your coping efforts. Nonfamily abductions frequently involve physical, sexual, or psychological abuse of the child. Your child may have been told family members who were “left behind” were dead or no longer wanted him or her. Efforts will have to be made to reassure your child that the separation was involuntary and overcome your child’s possible feelings of alienation. Family members need to be patient with the child during the reunification process.
While family counseling fosters the communication essential to rebuilding family life, individual counseling of your child may be necessary to address fears and traumatic experiences he or she may be reluctant to express in a family setting. In cases of extreme tragedy in which your child dies while missing, your family will need counseling to help cope with grief and other feelings. At some point it may be helpful to join a support group with others who have experienced a similar loss.
If your child has been abducted by the noncustodial parent or guardian, reunification counseling may need to address the child’s feelings of separation from or loss of the abductor parent/guardian. The custodial parent/guardian may find it difficult to talk with the child about such feelings in light of his or her own anxiety or anger toward the abducting parent/guardian. Counseling may make it easier for such reactions to be discussed.
If your child has run away, counseling may be helpful in identifying why he or she left home. The act of running away usually results from a combination of unresolved family problems and individual problems. Counseling may also help reduce the impact of the problems and prevent future runaway incidents. Counseling should address all events that occurred during the runaway incident, as runaway children are at high risk for substance abuse, sexual exploitation, and physical abuse. Your child may have left a situation within the home or in some other area of his or her life the parents or guardians may not know about. It is important to allow your child to acknowledge these contributing factors and for the family to address the problems that drove the child to run away in the first place. If these issues are not addressed, the child may become a habitual runaway.
Counseling in Cases of Sexually Exploited Children
When a child has been sexually exploited the child should be seen by a therapist as soon as possible after disclosing the exploitation. Therapy may help your child understand he or she is not to blame and may help him or her cope with the overwhelming feelings of guilt and shame some children have. While physical evidence of sexual exploitation is often lacking, have your child examined by a physician to make sure he or she has not been physically injured . If law enforcement or child-protective services have not already taken your child to a therapist or physician as part of the investigation, you should seek such a professional on your own. A child who appears to be coping with the exploitation initially may not have come to grips with what happened or may be in denial. Children may tell only a part of what happened until they feel comfortable and secure enough to disclose more details. Seek referrals for qualified individuals from the other professionals who are helping you.
Finding a Therapist or Physician
In order to be helpful to you, a therapist or physician needs to have training and experience in handling child sexual exploitation or issues related to family reunification. Many jurisdictions have a child-protection team composed of trained professionals who investigate cases of exploitation and make recommendations for intervention.
What to Look For in a Therapist
• Your therapist should have an advanced degree in a recognized mental-health specialty such as psychiatry, psychology, social work, counseling, or psychiatric nursing. Advanced degrees are master’s degrees (M SW, MS, MA) and doctorates (M D, PhD, PsyD). Make sure your therapist is licensed to practice in your jurisdiction.
1. In cases of missing children your therapist should have specific knowledge about the consequences to the child and family following child disappearance, legal issues surrounding child search, and child recovery and family reunification. Therapists with proper degrees and credentials who lack this specific knowledge may be useful if they are willing to seek educational material about the subject.
2. In cases of child sexual exploitation your therapist should have special training in child sexual exploitation, know how it affects children and adults, understand how to place responsibility on the exploiter, and have a treatment plan.
What to Look For in a Physician
• Your physician should have board certification in a relevant medical specialty such as pediatrics, family practice, or obstetrics/ gynecology. Board certification means the doctor has had specific training and experience in that area of medicine after medical school and then passed an examination in that specialty.
• Your physician should have particular experience in conducting medical evaluations of children for sexual exploitation. Child-sexual -exploitation cases may involve complex issues about diagnosis, evidence collection, and treatment for sexually transmitted diseases.
In cases of child sexual exploitation your therapist or physician should have knowledge of the legal issues involved in child sexual exploitation , especially the laws about reporting child sexual victimization ; procedures used by law enforcement and protective services ; the rules of evidence ; and the use of expert testimony in your jurisdiction. If you find you need a therapist or physician with knowledge of or experience in testifying in court about your child’s assessment and treatment, consult with a prosecutor or other attorney. Many jurisdictions have now established child-advocacy centers providing all of the above-referenced services under one roof. Check with your law-enforcement agency or child-protective-services agency to see if a child-advocacy center is in your community.
Where to Find a Therapist or Physician
Many communities have special programs for treating child sexual exploitation or therapists with experience in certain areas. As services to families of missing children represent a relatively new field, however, it may be difficult to find therapists with this specialized training in your community. You may find reputable therapists in your community through the organizations noted below.
• Nonprofit -service providers serving families of missing or sexually exploited children
• Local psychological or psychiatric association referral services
• University departments of psychology or psychiatry
• Child- exploitation hotlines
• Child-protective-services agencies
• Rape-crisis or sexual-assault centers
• Family-court services of court-appointed, special-advocate (CASA) groups
• Crime-victim-assistance programs in the law-enforcement agency or prosecutor’s (district attorney’s) office
Working with Your Therapist or Physician
When you have located a therapist or physician, it is reasonable to ask about his or her experience and training in working with a particular problem. If you are not satisfied, find another professional. Even if you pay a reduced fee or receive services at no cost, you have the right to have a therapist or physician with the proper training and experience. You may wish to express a preference for a male or female therapist or physician.
Discuss your child’s situation openly, completely, and honestly. Trust your feelings and your child’s feelings. Your child and you should feel comfortable with the therapist or physician, even if the examination or assessment process creates feelings of guilt or shame. If you are not comfortable with your therapist or physician, discuss this discomfort openly. If this discussion does not produce positive change, request another therapist or physician.
Provide a complete history so the professional is able to properly assess and treat your child. Try to cooperate as fully as possible and help the child cooperate with the therapist or physician. Ask questions if you do not understand what is happening. Be open and candid in providing information to the therapist about your child and family. This information may be helpful in formulating a treatment plan.
Discuss the fees for examination and find out what services are covered by health-insurance benefits you may have. Ask for a written statement explaining the basis for charges. Your law-enforcement agency or district attorney’s office should be able to tell you if your jurisdiction has a crime-victim-assistance program that will pay for necessary counseling and medical treatment.
During an investigation of child sexual exploitation, therapy, or the medical exam, you may be told there is no evidence of victimization. There may be many reasons for the lack of evidence, but this does not necessarily mean your child was not sexually victimized. And, conversely, behavioral changes may have been due to causes other than sexual exploitation such as a medical, family, or school problem.
Even if no physical evidence was found, the therapist or physician may still be able to testify in court about the evaluation and discuss the fact your child was exploited. It is important for the therapist to continue seeing your child, even if the court does not find sexual exploitation occurred.
Note: All medical professionals and therapists have a code of ethics they must follow. It is always wrong for any professional to be abusive or act in a sexual way with a client. If you believe your therapist or physician is acting inappropriately or is not keeping you informed about the assessment and treatment, discuss your concerns openly. If this discussion does not produce positive change, talk to his or her supervisor or contact a professional or medical association for more help. Do not stay in a therapy situation that makes your child or you feel uncomfortable.
Finding an Attorney
The services of an attorney may be helpful at any time during the investigation of a missing- or sexually exploited -child case, but they are particularly important if you are facing one of the situations noted below.
• Your child is the victim of family abduction and you need to obtain a custody order, file criminal charges against the abductor, and encourage law enforcement to investigate and the prosecutor to prosecute. Note: If your child was taken to another jurisdiction, you may have to hire a second attorney to enforce the custody decree in the jurisdiction to which your child was taken.
• You are considering separation, divorce, or dissolving a nonmarital partnership and want to prevent a family abduction. Or, you want to stop visitation or are considering separation or divorce because your child discloses sexual exploitation. Whether or not you are legally married, you should have paternity established and obtain legal custody of your child. To obtain a custody order you must file legal papers, called pleadings, in the family court. It will be much simpler to do this if you get the assistance of an attorney.
• You want to sue someone who sexually exploited your child.
• You want to sue an agency or institution that failed to protect your child from sexual victimization.
Note: You do not need an attorney merely because your child is testifying in a criminal case regarding abduction or sexual exploitation. You may inquire whether or not your child will be appointed a guardian ad litem or CASA to assist in the court process. Your child may also receive assistance from a victim-witness advocate through the prosecutor’s office. You may want to consult an attorney, however, if you have questions the prosecutor or these other professionals are unable to answer.
What to Look For in an Attorney
Missing-child cases and cases of child sexual exploitation may have complex legal issues. Parents and guardians should consider the items noted below when hiring an attorney.
• Legal advice should come from an attorney only.
• Your attorney should be licensed to practice in the jurisdiction where the case arose and/ or where any trial is likely to occur. Only a lawyer licensed in that jurisdiction will know the applicable laws in order to competently advise and represent you .
• If your child has been abducted by a noncustodial parent or guardian, your attorney should be familiar with family/domestic-relations law. You may also want an attorney experienced with the civil and criminal laws applicable to parental kidnapping such as the Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction and Enforcement Act (UCCJEA); Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction Act (UCCJA ); Parental Kidnapping Prevention Act (PKPA ); Hague Convention on the Civil Aspects of International Child Abduction, if another country is involved; and child-abduction lawsuits.
• If your child has been sexually exploited , your attorney should be familiar with child-abuse and neglect investigations, the laws about custody and visitation, and new procedures that may be used in trials when a child is a witness. If a parent or guardian has been involved in the exploitation, there may be issues surrounding child custody and visitation.
• Your attorney should be experienced in conducting trials, especially trials in criminal and family court. For example cases regarding child sexual exploitation may require complex pretrial and trial procedures.
• Your attorney should be comfortable advocating for you outside of the courtroom if necessary. For example an attorney may assist by encouraging law-enforcement or other government involvement in your case.
• Your attorney should be honest with you about the case. He or she should vigorously represent your interests . Moreover, your attorney should treat your child and you with courtesy and respect.
For more information, or to view the source of this publication, please visit www.missingkids.com
Also, for information about Child Safety, please visit www.childrescuenetwork.org
For more information about Child Safety and Identification, please visit www.identakid.com
Monday, February 21, 2011
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Cyberbullying
In addition to Child Identification, we here at Ident-A-Kid are also concerned with your child’s physical and mental safety. Not only does Cyberbullying have potentially dangerous psychological implications for your child, but your child’s physical safety may become an issue as well. Bullies are notorious for tormenting their victims face to face—at school, on the playground, in sports. But now, cyberbullying (or online bullying) opens the door to 24-hour harassment through computers, cell phones, gaming consoles, or other Internet-enabled means. Below is some information from Microsoft.com and Symantec.com about Cyberbullying and how to stop it.
Talk with your kids about cyberbullying.
Ask your kids what they're doing online and encourage them to report bullying to you. Promise that you will take action on their behalf and explain what you will do. Reassure them that you won't curtail their phone or computer privileges.
Keep the family computer in a central location.
If your kids play video games, keep Internet-connected game consoles in a central location also. Teenagers have so many ways to access the Internet that putting the computer in a central spot isn't always effective. With older kids, it's especially important to have frank discussions.
Look for signs of online bullying- for example, getting upset when online or a reluctance to go to school.
Don't tolerate cyberbullying at home.
Let your children know they should never, under any circumstances, bully someone. Make the consequences clear.
Keep passwords secret.
Urge your kids not to share passwords or other information that could be used to bully them, or to loan their cell phones or laptops.
Encourage your children to make friends and to help friends look out for each other. Cyberbullies are less likely to target those whom they perceive have strong friendships. If a victim has friends who rally around him or her, the bullying usually stops.
Get help from technology.
Turn on the safety features available in most programs and services.
If your child is a victim of online bullying, there are a number of escalating steps you can take, says Nancy E. Willard, author of the book Cyberbullying and Cyberthreats: Responding to the challenge of online social cruelty, threats, and distress.
Identify and block
First, ask your child not to respond or retaliate, no matter how tempting it may be to "fight back." If you can identify who's cyberbullying your child, block any further communications. In your instant message program go to People or Friends in the main menu and choose Block User or Remove Friend, for instance. In your email program, add the offending email address to your blacklist. For assistance in online sleuthing, contact WiredSafety.org, whose trained volunteers can also help you try to track down who's behind the online harassment.
Set boundaries
You, not your kids, should also contact the bully (or bullies) and demand the offending behavior stop. If you don't know their real identity, send an email or IM. Warn them that you will contact their parents or school, too, if the behavior continues.
File a complaint
Most cyberbullying behavior-harassment, threats, invasion of privacy, stalking-are violations of a web site or Internet service provider's "terms of service." You can file a complaint with the service and that could lead to the suspension or termination of the cyberbully's (or his or her parents') Internet access.
Contact the school
If you know the bully attends the same school as your child, teachers and administrators might be able to help. Keep in mind, however, that due to free speech rights, schools often have little leverage over what goes on outside the classroom. Some schools are incorporating anti-cyberbullying terms into students' online access agreements, so if the bully contacted your child from a school computer, he or she could be in big trouble. Make sure to report the incident either way.
Send a certified letter
If you've done all you can and the bullying hasn't stopped, send the child's parents a certified "cease and desist" letter. Along with the letter, include computer print-outs of the bullying behavior, such as emails or IM transcripts. Ask the parents to step in and put a stop to the cyberbullying. Willard, who is also a lawyer and director of the Center for Safe and Responsible Internet Use, says certifying the letter proves the parents are aware of their child's behavior and can be held responsible if it still doesn't stop.
Call an attorney
In the worst case scenario, a lawyer can help you consider filing a civil suit against bullies and/or their parents for defamation, harassment or other causes. Sometimes the threat of a suit is enough to dissuade cyberbullies.
Contact the local police
If there's any evidence that the cyberbully's tactics include criminal actions, such as hate crimes, physical threats or talk of brandishing weapons at school, contact your local police immediately. Cyberbullies who post surreptitious locker-room photos of their victims online can also be brought up on charges of child pornography. Make sure to print examples of the offending behavior and pass it on to the police. The police can use your complaint to gather any other admissible evidence from your child's computer, if need be.
Talk with your kids about what's acceptable
Anne Collier, editor of NetFamilyNews.org, an email newsletter about online safety for kids, says to truly stop cyberbullying, however, you have to first know what's happening when your kids are online. Kids are often reluctant to tell parents about cyberbullying or anything else that goes on online for fear parents will only make things worse. Others feel that what they do on the Internet is "private." Williard says that nothing could be further from the truth: "Kids need to know that the Internet is a public space and need to treat it as such."
Willard suggests that you get to know your child's screen names and email addresses and don't hesitate to "Google" (or search) for your kid's online identities. She also says parents should be up front-so tell your kids you'll be checking up on them periodically. And communicate with your kid's friends' parents, she says. Setting expectations not just for your child but everyone else can avoid future problems.
"It takes a digital village to raise a child, these days," she says.
Collier adds that you can draft an "acceptable use policy" or contract for the home computer or other text-messaging devices as well. The policy should address every aspect of venturing into cyberspace, including how long your children will stay online each day. Or what web sites, messaging services and chat rooms are acceptable destinations. Also discuss what personal information they can share online, including photos. "Ask your child, 'What will you do if…?' and then write mutually acceptable answers into the contract," Collier advises. A signed promise to be kind to others online and to report cyberbullying (of themselves or others) could go a long way towards preventing problems before they start.
For more information about Cyberbullying and what to do, visit:
http://www.symantec.com/norton/familyresources/resources.jsp?title=ar_deal_with_cyberbullies
Or
http://www.microsoft.com/protect/parents/social/griefers.aspx
Talk with your kids about cyberbullying.
Ask your kids what they're doing online and encourage them to report bullying to you. Promise that you will take action on their behalf and explain what you will do. Reassure them that you won't curtail their phone or computer privileges.
Keep the family computer in a central location.
If your kids play video games, keep Internet-connected game consoles in a central location also. Teenagers have so many ways to access the Internet that putting the computer in a central spot isn't always effective. With older kids, it's especially important to have frank discussions.
Look for signs of online bullying- for example, getting upset when online or a reluctance to go to school.
Don't tolerate cyberbullying at home.
Let your children know they should never, under any circumstances, bully someone. Make the consequences clear.
Keep passwords secret.
Urge your kids not to share passwords or other information that could be used to bully them, or to loan their cell phones or laptops.
Encourage your children to make friends and to help friends look out for each other. Cyberbullies are less likely to target those whom they perceive have strong friendships. If a victim has friends who rally around him or her, the bullying usually stops.
Get help from technology.
Turn on the safety features available in most programs and services.
If your child is a victim of online bullying, there are a number of escalating steps you can take, says Nancy E. Willard, author of the book Cyberbullying and Cyberthreats: Responding to the challenge of online social cruelty, threats, and distress.
Identify and block
First, ask your child not to respond or retaliate, no matter how tempting it may be to "fight back." If you can identify who's cyberbullying your child, block any further communications. In your instant message program go to People or Friends in the main menu and choose Block User or Remove Friend, for instance. In your email program, add the offending email address to your blacklist. For assistance in online sleuthing, contact WiredSafety.org, whose trained volunteers can also help you try to track down who's behind the online harassment.
Set boundaries
You, not your kids, should also contact the bully (or bullies) and demand the offending behavior stop. If you don't know their real identity, send an email or IM. Warn them that you will contact their parents or school, too, if the behavior continues.
File a complaint
Most cyberbullying behavior-harassment, threats, invasion of privacy, stalking-are violations of a web site or Internet service provider's "terms of service." You can file a complaint with the service and that could lead to the suspension or termination of the cyberbully's (or his or her parents') Internet access.
Contact the school
If you know the bully attends the same school as your child, teachers and administrators might be able to help. Keep in mind, however, that due to free speech rights, schools often have little leverage over what goes on outside the classroom. Some schools are incorporating anti-cyberbullying terms into students' online access agreements, so if the bully contacted your child from a school computer, he or she could be in big trouble. Make sure to report the incident either way.
Send a certified letter
If you've done all you can and the bullying hasn't stopped, send the child's parents a certified "cease and desist" letter. Along with the letter, include computer print-outs of the bullying behavior, such as emails or IM transcripts. Ask the parents to step in and put a stop to the cyberbullying. Willard, who is also a lawyer and director of the Center for Safe and Responsible Internet Use, says certifying the letter proves the parents are aware of their child's behavior and can be held responsible if it still doesn't stop.
Call an attorney
In the worst case scenario, a lawyer can help you consider filing a civil suit against bullies and/or their parents for defamation, harassment or other causes. Sometimes the threat of a suit is enough to dissuade cyberbullies.
Contact the local police
If there's any evidence that the cyberbully's tactics include criminal actions, such as hate crimes, physical threats or talk of brandishing weapons at school, contact your local police immediately. Cyberbullies who post surreptitious locker-room photos of their victims online can also be brought up on charges of child pornography. Make sure to print examples of the offending behavior and pass it on to the police. The police can use your complaint to gather any other admissible evidence from your child's computer, if need be.
Talk with your kids about what's acceptable
Anne Collier, editor of NetFamilyNews.org, an email newsletter about online safety for kids, says to truly stop cyberbullying, however, you have to first know what's happening when your kids are online. Kids are often reluctant to tell parents about cyberbullying or anything else that goes on online for fear parents will only make things worse. Others feel that what they do on the Internet is "private." Williard says that nothing could be further from the truth: "Kids need to know that the Internet is a public space and need to treat it as such."
Willard suggests that you get to know your child's screen names and email addresses and don't hesitate to "Google" (or search) for your kid's online identities. She also says parents should be up front-so tell your kids you'll be checking up on them periodically. And communicate with your kid's friends' parents, she says. Setting expectations not just for your child but everyone else can avoid future problems.
"It takes a digital village to raise a child, these days," she says.
Collier adds that you can draft an "acceptable use policy" or contract for the home computer or other text-messaging devices as well. The policy should address every aspect of venturing into cyberspace, including how long your children will stay online each day. Or what web sites, messaging services and chat rooms are acceptable destinations. Also discuss what personal information they can share online, including photos. "Ask your child, 'What will you do if…?' and then write mutually acceptable answers into the contract," Collier advises. A signed promise to be kind to others online and to report cyberbullying (of themselves or others) could go a long way towards preventing problems before they start.
For more information about Cyberbullying and what to do, visit:
http://www.symantec.com/norton/familyresources/resources.jsp?title=ar_deal_with_cyberbullies
Or
http://www.microsoft.com/protect/parents/social/griefers.aspx
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Winter Weather Safety Tips
In addition to Child Identification, we here at Ident-A-Kid are concerned with your child’s health and safety during the winter season. Below are some valuable tips from the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) on how to keep your children safe and warm.
What to Wear
• Dress infants and children warmly for outdoor activities. Several thin layers will keep them dry and warm. Clothing for children should consist of thermal long johns, turtlenecks, one or two shirts, pants, sweater, coat, warm socks, boots, gloves or mittens, and a hat.
• The rule of thumb for older babies and young children is to dress them in one more layer of clothing than an adult would wear in the same conditions.
• Blankets, quilts, pillows, sheepskins and other loose bedding may contribute to Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) and should be kept out of an infant’s sleeping environment. Sleep clothing like one-piece sleepers is preferred.
• If a blanket must be used to keep a sleeping infant warm, it should be tucked in around the crib mattress, reaching only as far as your baby’s chest, so the infant's face is less likely to become covered by bedding.
Hypothermia
• Hypothermia develops when a child's temperature falls below normal due to exposure to cold. It often happens when a youngster is playing outdoors in extremely cold weather without wearing proper clothing or when clothes get wet.
• As hypothermia sets in, the child may shiver and become lethargic and clumsy. His speech may become slurred and his body temperature will decline.
• If you suspect your child is hypothermic, call 911 at once. Until help arrives, take the child indoors, remove any wet clothing, and wrap him in blankets or warm clothes.
Frostbite
• Frostbite happens when the skin and outer tissues become frozen. This condition tends to happen on extremities like the fingers, toes, ears and nose. They may become pale, gray and blistered. At the same time, the child may complain that her skin burns or has become numb.
• If frostbite occurs, bring the child indoors and place the frostbitten parts of her body in warm (not hot) water. 104° Fahrenheit (about the temperature of most hot tubs) is recommended. Warm washcloths may be applied to frostbitten nose, ears and lips.
• Do not rub the frozen areas.
• After a few minutes, dry and cover him with clothing or blankets. Give him something warm to drink.
• If the numbness continues for more than a few minutes, call your doctor.
Winter Health
• If your child suffers from winter nosebleeds, try using a cold air humidifier in the child's room at night. Saline nose drops may help keep tissues moist. If bleeding is severe or recurrent, consult your pediatrician.
• Many pediatricians feel that bathing two or three times a week is enough for an infant’s first year. More frequent baths may dry out the skin, especially during the winter.
• Cold weather does not cause colds or flu. But the viruses that cause colds and flu tend to be more common in the winter, when children are in school and are in closer contact with each other. Frequent hand washing and teaching your child to sneeze or cough into the bend of her elbow may help reduce the spread of colds and flu.
• Children between 6 months and 18 years of age should get the influenza vaccine to reduce their risk of catching the flu.
Winter Sports and Activities
Set reasonable time limits on outdoor play to prevent frostbite. Have children come inside periodically to warm up.
Ice Skating
• Allow children to skate only on approved surfaces. Check for signs posted by local police or recreation departments, or call your local police department to find out which areas have been approved.
• Advise your child to: skate in the same direction as the crowd; avoid darting across the ice; never skate alone; not chew gum or eat candy while skating.
• Consider having your child wear a helmet while ice skating.
Sledding
• Keep sledders away from motor vehicles.
• Children should be supervised while sledding.
• Keep young children separated from older children.
• Sledding feet first or sitting up, instead of lying down head-first, may prevent head injuries.
• Consider having your child wear a helmet while sledding.
• Use steerable sleds, not snow disks or inner tubes.
• Sleds should be structurally sound and free of sharp edges and splinters, and the steering mechanism should be well lubricated.
• Sled slopes should be free of obstructions like trees or fences, be covered in snow not ice, not be too steep (slope of less than 30ยบ), and end with a flat runoff.
• Avoid sledding in crowded areas.
Snow Skiing and Snowboarding
• Children should be taught to ski or snowboard by a qualified instructor in a program designed for children.
• Never ski or snowboard alone.
• Young children should always be supervised by an adult. Older children’s need for adult supervision depends on their maturity and skill. If older children are not with an adult, they should always at least be accompanied by a friend.
• The AAP recommends that children under age 7 not snowboard.
• Consider wearing a helmet.
• Equipment should fit the child. Skiers should wear safety bindings that are adjusted at least every year. Snowboarders should wear gloves with built-in wrist guards.
• Slopes should fit the ability and experience of the skier or snowboarder. Avoid crowded slopes.
• Avoid skiing in areas with trees and other obstacles.
Snowmobiling
• The AAP recommends that children under age 16 not operate snowmobiles and that children under age 6 never ride on snowmobiles.
• Do not use a snowmobile to pull a sled or skiers.
• Wear goggles and a safety helmet approved for use on motorized vehicles like motorcycles.
• Travel at safe speeds.
• Never use alcohol or other drugs before or during snowmobiling.
• Never snowmobile alone or at night.
• Stay on marked trails, away from roads, water, railroads and pedestrians.
Sun Protection
The sun’s rays can still cause sunburn in the winter, especially when they reflect off snow. Make sure to cover your child’s exposed skin with sunscreen.
Fire Protection
Winter is a time when household fires occur. It is a good time to remember to:
• Buy and install smoke alarms on every floor of your home
• Test smoke alarms monthly
• Practice fire drills with your children
For more information about weather safety and child health, visit www.aap.org
What to Wear
• Dress infants and children warmly for outdoor activities. Several thin layers will keep them dry and warm. Clothing for children should consist of thermal long johns, turtlenecks, one or two shirts, pants, sweater, coat, warm socks, boots, gloves or mittens, and a hat.
• The rule of thumb for older babies and young children is to dress them in one more layer of clothing than an adult would wear in the same conditions.
• Blankets, quilts, pillows, sheepskins and other loose bedding may contribute to Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) and should be kept out of an infant’s sleeping environment. Sleep clothing like one-piece sleepers is preferred.
• If a blanket must be used to keep a sleeping infant warm, it should be tucked in around the crib mattress, reaching only as far as your baby’s chest, so the infant's face is less likely to become covered by bedding.
Hypothermia
• Hypothermia develops when a child's temperature falls below normal due to exposure to cold. It often happens when a youngster is playing outdoors in extremely cold weather without wearing proper clothing or when clothes get wet.
• As hypothermia sets in, the child may shiver and become lethargic and clumsy. His speech may become slurred and his body temperature will decline.
• If you suspect your child is hypothermic, call 911 at once. Until help arrives, take the child indoors, remove any wet clothing, and wrap him in blankets or warm clothes.
Frostbite
• Frostbite happens when the skin and outer tissues become frozen. This condition tends to happen on extremities like the fingers, toes, ears and nose. They may become pale, gray and blistered. At the same time, the child may complain that her skin burns or has become numb.
• If frostbite occurs, bring the child indoors and place the frostbitten parts of her body in warm (not hot) water. 104° Fahrenheit (about the temperature of most hot tubs) is recommended. Warm washcloths may be applied to frostbitten nose, ears and lips.
• Do not rub the frozen areas.
• After a few minutes, dry and cover him with clothing or blankets. Give him something warm to drink.
• If the numbness continues for more than a few minutes, call your doctor.
Winter Health
• If your child suffers from winter nosebleeds, try using a cold air humidifier in the child's room at night. Saline nose drops may help keep tissues moist. If bleeding is severe or recurrent, consult your pediatrician.
• Many pediatricians feel that bathing two or three times a week is enough for an infant’s first year. More frequent baths may dry out the skin, especially during the winter.
• Cold weather does not cause colds or flu. But the viruses that cause colds and flu tend to be more common in the winter, when children are in school and are in closer contact with each other. Frequent hand washing and teaching your child to sneeze or cough into the bend of her elbow may help reduce the spread of colds and flu.
• Children between 6 months and 18 years of age should get the influenza vaccine to reduce their risk of catching the flu.
Winter Sports and Activities
Set reasonable time limits on outdoor play to prevent frostbite. Have children come inside periodically to warm up.
Ice Skating
• Allow children to skate only on approved surfaces. Check for signs posted by local police or recreation departments, or call your local police department to find out which areas have been approved.
• Advise your child to: skate in the same direction as the crowd; avoid darting across the ice; never skate alone; not chew gum or eat candy while skating.
• Consider having your child wear a helmet while ice skating.
Sledding
• Keep sledders away from motor vehicles.
• Children should be supervised while sledding.
• Keep young children separated from older children.
• Sledding feet first or sitting up, instead of lying down head-first, may prevent head injuries.
• Consider having your child wear a helmet while sledding.
• Use steerable sleds, not snow disks or inner tubes.
• Sleds should be structurally sound and free of sharp edges and splinters, and the steering mechanism should be well lubricated.
• Sled slopes should be free of obstructions like trees or fences, be covered in snow not ice, not be too steep (slope of less than 30ยบ), and end with a flat runoff.
• Avoid sledding in crowded areas.
Snow Skiing and Snowboarding
• Children should be taught to ski or snowboard by a qualified instructor in a program designed for children.
• Never ski or snowboard alone.
• Young children should always be supervised by an adult. Older children’s need for adult supervision depends on their maturity and skill. If older children are not with an adult, they should always at least be accompanied by a friend.
• The AAP recommends that children under age 7 not snowboard.
• Consider wearing a helmet.
• Equipment should fit the child. Skiers should wear safety bindings that are adjusted at least every year. Snowboarders should wear gloves with built-in wrist guards.
• Slopes should fit the ability and experience of the skier or snowboarder. Avoid crowded slopes.
• Avoid skiing in areas with trees and other obstacles.
Snowmobiling
• The AAP recommends that children under age 16 not operate snowmobiles and that children under age 6 never ride on snowmobiles.
• Do not use a snowmobile to pull a sled or skiers.
• Wear goggles and a safety helmet approved for use on motorized vehicles like motorcycles.
• Travel at safe speeds.
• Never use alcohol or other drugs before or during snowmobiling.
• Never snowmobile alone or at night.
• Stay on marked trails, away from roads, water, railroads and pedestrians.
Sun Protection
The sun’s rays can still cause sunburn in the winter, especially when they reflect off snow. Make sure to cover your child’s exposed skin with sunscreen.
Fire Protection
Winter is a time when household fires occur. It is a good time to remember to:
• Buy and install smoke alarms on every floor of your home
• Test smoke alarms monthly
• Practice fire drills with your children
For more information about weather safety and child health, visit www.aap.org
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Holiday Safety Tips
In addition to Child Identification, we here at Ident-A-Kid are concerned with your child’s safety during the holidays. Below are some safety tips for the holidays from the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission for you and your family.
General Christmas Safety Tips
• Make sure Christmas trees are well anchored and watered so they do not become a fire hazard.
• Keep all breakable Christmas ornaments, electrical extensions and burning objects (candles, incense and potpourri pots) out of small children’s reach.
• Make sure your fireplace is screened and all trees, presents, and children are kept away from fire.
• When wrapping presents keep scissors out of children’s hands.
• Make sure infants and toddlers don’t play with ribbon.
• When involving children in holiday baking make sure adults handle all of the hot items.
• While shopping never let your children out of your sight.
• If your child is lost in a mall or department store, make sure you have your child’s Ident-A-Kid card available and demand that the store take appropriate action.
• Follow all age guidelines on toys and do not deviate.
• Teach children not to succumb to temptation of toys or candy in a shopping environment.
• Request an escort back to your car when you are finished shopping at night.
• Never leave your children unattended in a car.
• Create well-supervised activities for children during Christmas break
Toy Safety Tips for Holiday Shoppers
• Select toys to suit the age, abilities, skills and interest level of the intended child.
• For infants, toddlers and all children who still mouth objects, avoid toys with small parts that could pose a fatal choking hazard.
• Look for sturdy construction, such as tightly secured eyes, noses and other potential small parts.
• For all children under age 8, avoid toys that have sharp edges and points.
• Do not purchase electric toys with heating elements for children under age 8.
• Be a label reader. Look for labels that give age recommendations and use that information as a guide.
• Check instructions for clarity. They should be clear to you, and when appropriate, to the child.
• Immediately discard plastic wrappings on toys, which can cause suffocation, before they become deadly playthings
For more information about safety during the holidays, visit http://www.cpsc.gov/
General Christmas Safety Tips
• Make sure Christmas trees are well anchored and watered so they do not become a fire hazard.
• Keep all breakable Christmas ornaments, electrical extensions and burning objects (candles, incense and potpourri pots) out of small children’s reach.
• Make sure your fireplace is screened and all trees, presents, and children are kept away from fire.
• When wrapping presents keep scissors out of children’s hands.
• Make sure infants and toddlers don’t play with ribbon.
• When involving children in holiday baking make sure adults handle all of the hot items.
• While shopping never let your children out of your sight.
• If your child is lost in a mall or department store, make sure you have your child’s Ident-A-Kid card available and demand that the store take appropriate action.
• Follow all age guidelines on toys and do not deviate.
• Teach children not to succumb to temptation of toys or candy in a shopping environment.
• Request an escort back to your car when you are finished shopping at night.
• Never leave your children unattended in a car.
• Create well-supervised activities for children during Christmas break
Toy Safety Tips for Holiday Shoppers
• Select toys to suit the age, abilities, skills and interest level of the intended child.
• For infants, toddlers and all children who still mouth objects, avoid toys with small parts that could pose a fatal choking hazard.
• Look for sturdy construction, such as tightly secured eyes, noses and other potential small parts.
• For all children under age 8, avoid toys that have sharp edges and points.
• Do not purchase electric toys with heating elements for children under age 8.
• Be a label reader. Look for labels that give age recommendations and use that information as a guide.
• Check instructions for clarity. They should be clear to you, and when appropriate, to the child.
• Immediately discard plastic wrappings on toys, which can cause suffocation, before they become deadly playthings
For more information about safety during the holidays, visit http://www.cpsc.gov/
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Tips on How to Help a Child Who is Choking
In addition to Child Identification, we here at Ident-A-Kid are concerned with your child’s physical well-being. Children are known for putting things in their mouths that are too small and can block the airway. Due to this, you and your family should be aware of some general CPR techniques. Below is some information provided by the American Heart Association about how to tell when your child is choking and what you should do.
Signs of Choking
Choking occurs when something blocks the airway. When the airway is completely blocked, the child cannot breathe. Choking can be a frightening emergency. But if you act quickly, you can help the child breathe.
If the child can speak or cough loudly, the child's airway is only partly blocked. You should not try to open the airway. If you are worried about the child's breathing, phone 9-1-1.
Signs of choking in the child with a completely blocked airway are
• The child suddenly begins to cough, gag or have high-pitched, noisy breathing
• An older child may make the choking sign (holding the neck with one or both hands)
• The child has bluish lips or skin
Actions to Relieve Choking in a Child
When a child is choking and can't breathe or speak, you must give abdominal thrusts (the Heimlich maneuver). The Heimlich maneuver pushes air from the child's lungs like a cough. This can help remove the blocking object. You should give abdominal thrusts until the object is forced out or the victim becomes unresponsive.
1. If you think a child is choking, ask the child "Are you choking?" If he nods, tell him you are going to help.
2. Kneel or stand firmly behind him and wrap your arms around him so that your hands are in front.
3. Make a fist with one hand.
4. Put the thumb side of your fist slightly above the navel (belly button) and well below the breastbone.
5. Grasp the fist with your other hand and give quick upward thrusts into his abdomen.
6. Give thrusts until the object is forced out and he can breathe, cough, or talk or until he stops responding.
If the choking is not relieved, the child will become unresponsive. When the child becomes unresponsive, shout for help, lower the child to the ground, and start CPR. If someone else is present, send that person to phone 9-1-1 while you start CPR.
The steps of CPR of the child who has become unresponsive after choking are the same, with one addition.
1. Yell for help. If someone comes, send that person to phone your emergency response number (or 911) and get the AED if available.
2. Lower the victim to the ground, faceup. If you are alone with the child victim, start the steps of CPR.
3. Every time you open the airway to give breaths, open the victim's mouth wide and look for the object. If you see an object, remove it with your fingers. If you do not see an object, keep giving sets of 30 compressions and two breaths until an AED arrives, the victim starts to move, or trained help takes over.
4. After about five cycles or two minutes, if you are alone, leave the child victim to call your emergency response number (or 911) and get the AED if available.
Chest compressions may force the object out. If you are alone with the child and these steps don't work after about one minute, phone 9-1-1.
Reviewed/Updated: 10/28/2008
For more information, visit http://www.americanheart.org/presenter.jhtml?identifier=3025002 or www.americanheart.org
Signs of Choking
Choking occurs when something blocks the airway. When the airway is completely blocked, the child cannot breathe. Choking can be a frightening emergency. But if you act quickly, you can help the child breathe.
If the child can speak or cough loudly, the child's airway is only partly blocked. You should not try to open the airway. If you are worried about the child's breathing, phone 9-1-1.
Signs of choking in the child with a completely blocked airway are
• The child suddenly begins to cough, gag or have high-pitched, noisy breathing
• An older child may make the choking sign (holding the neck with one or both hands)
• The child has bluish lips or skin
Actions to Relieve Choking in a Child
When a child is choking and can't breathe or speak, you must give abdominal thrusts (the Heimlich maneuver). The Heimlich maneuver pushes air from the child's lungs like a cough. This can help remove the blocking object. You should give abdominal thrusts until the object is forced out or the victim becomes unresponsive.
1. If you think a child is choking, ask the child "Are you choking?" If he nods, tell him you are going to help.
2. Kneel or stand firmly behind him and wrap your arms around him so that your hands are in front.
3. Make a fist with one hand.
4. Put the thumb side of your fist slightly above the navel (belly button) and well below the breastbone.
5. Grasp the fist with your other hand and give quick upward thrusts into his abdomen.
6. Give thrusts until the object is forced out and he can breathe, cough, or talk or until he stops responding.
If the choking is not relieved, the child will become unresponsive. When the child becomes unresponsive, shout for help, lower the child to the ground, and start CPR. If someone else is present, send that person to phone 9-1-1 while you start CPR.
The steps of CPR of the child who has become unresponsive after choking are the same, with one addition.
1. Yell for help. If someone comes, send that person to phone your emergency response number (or 911) and get the AED if available.
2. Lower the victim to the ground, faceup. If you are alone with the child victim, start the steps of CPR.
3. Every time you open the airway to give breaths, open the victim's mouth wide and look for the object. If you see an object, remove it with your fingers. If you do not see an object, keep giving sets of 30 compressions and two breaths until an AED arrives, the victim starts to move, or trained help takes over.
4. After about five cycles or two minutes, if you are alone, leave the child victim to call your emergency response number (or 911) and get the AED if available.
Chest compressions may force the object out. If you are alone with the child and these steps don't work after about one minute, phone 9-1-1.
Reviewed/Updated: 10/28/2008
For more information, visit http://www.americanheart.org/presenter.jhtml?identifier=3025002 or www.americanheart.org
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Childhood Bullying
In addition to Child Identification, we here at Ident-A-Kid are also concerned with your child’s physical and emotional well-being. Bullies can seriously disrupt a child’s emotional and psychological wellness. A good way to guard against these disruptions is to simply be aware that bullying is a serious problem and not just something to be cast aside as normal child behavior. Below is a good description of bullying, why kids bully, signs that your child is being bullied, and some advice to give your children about how to deal with bullies or avoid bullies provided by kidshealth.org.
What Is Bullying?
Most kids have been teased by a sibling or a friend at some point. And it's not usually harmful when done in a playful, friendly, and mutual way, and both kids find it funny. But when teasing becomes hurtful, unkind, and constant, it crosses the line into bullying and needs to stop.
Bullying is intentional tormenting in physical, verbal, or psychological ways. It can range from hitting, shoving, name-calling, threats, and mocking to extorting money and treasured possessions. Some kids bully by shunning others and spreading rumors about them. Others use email, chat rooms, instant messages, social networking websites, and text messages to taunt others or hurt their feelings.
It's important to take bullying seriously and not just brush it off as something that kids have to "tough out." The effects can be serious and affect kids' sense of self-worth and future relationships. In severe cases, bullying has contributed to tragedies, such as school shootings.
Why Do Kids Bully?
Kids bully for a variety of reasons. Sometimes they pick on kids because they need a victim — someone who seems emotionally or physically weaker, or just acts or appears different in some way — to feel more important, popular, or in control. Although some bullies are bigger or stronger than their victims, that's not always the case.
Sometimes kids torment others because that's the way they’ve been treated. They may think their behavior is normal because they come from families or other settings where everyone regularly gets angry, shouts, or calls names. Some popular TV shows even seem to promote meanness — people are "voted off," shunned, or ridiculed for their appearance or lack of talent.
Signs of Bullying
Unless your child tells you about bullying — or has visible bruises or injuries — it can be difficult to figure out if it's happening.
But there are some warning signs. You might notice your child acting differently or seeming anxious, or not eating, sleeping well, or doing the things that he or she usually enjoys. When kids seem moodier or more easily upset than usual, or when they start avoiding certain situations, like taking the bus to school, it may be because of a bully.
If you suspect bullying but your child is reluctant to open up, find opportunities to bring up the issue in a more roundabout way. For instance, you might see a situation on a TV show and use it as a conversation starter, asking "What do you think of this?" or "What do you think that person should have done?" This might lead to questions like: "Have you ever seen this happen?" or "Have you ever experienced this?" You might want to talk about any experiences you or another family member had at that age.
Let your child know that if he or she is being bullied — or sees it happening to someone else — it's important to talk to someone about it, whether it's you, another adult (a teacher, school counselor, or family friend), or a sibling.
Helping Kids
If your child tells you about a bully, focus on offering comfort and support, no matter how upset you are. Kids are often reluctant to tell adults about bullying. They feel embarrassed and ashamed that it's happening. They worry that their parents will be disappointed.
Sometimes kids feel like it's their own fault, that if they looked or acted differently it wouldn't be happening. Sometimes they're scared that if the bully finds out that they told, it will get worse. Others are worried that their parents won't believe them or do anything about it. Or kids worry that their parents will urge them to fight back when they're scared to.
Praise your child for being brave enough to talk about it. Remind your child that he or she isn't alone — a lot of people get bullied at some point. Emphasize that it's the bully who is behaving badly — not your child. Reassure your child that you will figure out what to do about it together.
Sometimes an older sibling or friend can help deal with the situation. It may help your daughter to hear how the older sister she idolizes was teased about her braces and how she dealt with it. An older sibling or friend may also be able to give you some perspective on what's happening at school, or wherever the bullying is happening, and help you figure out the best solution.
Take it seriously if your hear that the bullying will get worse if the bully finds out that your child told. Sometimes it's useful to approach the bully's parents. In other cases, teachers or counselors are the best ones to contact first. If you've tried those methods and still want to speak to the bullying child's parents, it's best to do so in a context where a school official, such as a counselor, can mediate.
Many states have bullying laws and policies. Find out about the laws in your community. In certain cases, if you have serious concerns about your child's safety, you may need to contact legal authorities.
Advice for Kids
The key to helping kids is providing strategies that deal with bullying on an everyday basis and also help restore their self-esteem and regain a sense of dignity.
It may be tempting to tell a kid to fight back. After all, you're angry that your child is suffering and maybe you were told to "stand up for yourself" when you were young. And you may worry that your child will continue to suffer at the hands of the bully.
But it's important to advise kids not to respond to bullying by fighting or bullying back. It can quickly escalate into violence, trouble, and someone getting injured. Instead, it's best to walk away from the situation, hang out with others, and tell an adult.
Here are some other strategies to discuss with kids that can help improve the situation and make them feel better:
Avoid the bully and use the buddy system. Use a different bathroom if a bully is nearby and don't go to your locker when there is nobody around. Make sure you have someone with you so that you're not alone with the bully. Buddy up with a friend on the bus, in the hallways, or at recess — wherever the bully is. Offer to do the same for a friend.
Hold the anger. It's natural to get upset by the bully, but that's what bullies thrive on. It makes them feel more powerful. Practice not reacting by crying or looking red or upset. It takes a lot of practice, but it's a useful skill for keeping off of a bully's radar. Sometimes kids find it useful to practice "cool down" strategies such as counting to 10, writing down their angry words, taking deep breaths or walking away. Sometimes the best thing to do is to teach kids to wear a "poker face" until they are clear of any danger (smiling or laughing may provoke the bully).
Act brave, walk away, and ignore the bully. Firmly and clearly tell the bully to stop, then walk away. Practice ways to ignore the hurtful remarks, like acting uninterested or texting someone on your cell phone. By ignoring the bully, you're showing that you don't care. Eventually, the bully will probably get bored with trying to bother you.
Tell an adult. Teachers, principals, parents, and lunchroom personnel at school can all help stop bullying.
Talk about it. Talk to someone you trust, such as a guidance counselor, teacher, sibling, or friend. They may offer some helpful suggestions, and even if they can't fix the situation, it may help you feel a little less alone.
Remove the incentives. If the bully is demanding your lunch money, start bringing your lunch. If he's trying to get your music player, don't bring it to school.
Reaching Out
At home you can lessen the impact of the bullying. Encourage your kids to get together with friends that help build their confidence. Help them meet other kids by joining clubs or sports programs. And find activities that can help a child feel confident and strong. Maybe it's a self-defense class like karate or a movement or other gym class.
And just remember: as upsetting as bullying can be for you and your family, lots of people and resources are available to help.
To learn more about child safety and bullying, visit kidshealth.org or http://kidshealth.org/parent/emotions/behavior/bullies.html#
What Is Bullying?
Most kids have been teased by a sibling or a friend at some point. And it's not usually harmful when done in a playful, friendly, and mutual way, and both kids find it funny. But when teasing becomes hurtful, unkind, and constant, it crosses the line into bullying and needs to stop.
Bullying is intentional tormenting in physical, verbal, or psychological ways. It can range from hitting, shoving, name-calling, threats, and mocking to extorting money and treasured possessions. Some kids bully by shunning others and spreading rumors about them. Others use email, chat rooms, instant messages, social networking websites, and text messages to taunt others or hurt their feelings.
It's important to take bullying seriously and not just brush it off as something that kids have to "tough out." The effects can be serious and affect kids' sense of self-worth and future relationships. In severe cases, bullying has contributed to tragedies, such as school shootings.
Why Do Kids Bully?
Kids bully for a variety of reasons. Sometimes they pick on kids because they need a victim — someone who seems emotionally or physically weaker, or just acts or appears different in some way — to feel more important, popular, or in control. Although some bullies are bigger or stronger than their victims, that's not always the case.
Sometimes kids torment others because that's the way they’ve been treated. They may think their behavior is normal because they come from families or other settings where everyone regularly gets angry, shouts, or calls names. Some popular TV shows even seem to promote meanness — people are "voted off," shunned, or ridiculed for their appearance or lack of talent.
Signs of Bullying
Unless your child tells you about bullying — or has visible bruises or injuries — it can be difficult to figure out if it's happening.
But there are some warning signs. You might notice your child acting differently or seeming anxious, or not eating, sleeping well, or doing the things that he or she usually enjoys. When kids seem moodier or more easily upset than usual, or when they start avoiding certain situations, like taking the bus to school, it may be because of a bully.
If you suspect bullying but your child is reluctant to open up, find opportunities to bring up the issue in a more roundabout way. For instance, you might see a situation on a TV show and use it as a conversation starter, asking "What do you think of this?" or "What do you think that person should have done?" This might lead to questions like: "Have you ever seen this happen?" or "Have you ever experienced this?" You might want to talk about any experiences you or another family member had at that age.
Let your child know that if he or she is being bullied — or sees it happening to someone else — it's important to talk to someone about it, whether it's you, another adult (a teacher, school counselor, or family friend), or a sibling.
Helping Kids
If your child tells you about a bully, focus on offering comfort and support, no matter how upset you are. Kids are often reluctant to tell adults about bullying. They feel embarrassed and ashamed that it's happening. They worry that their parents will be disappointed.
Sometimes kids feel like it's their own fault, that if they looked or acted differently it wouldn't be happening. Sometimes they're scared that if the bully finds out that they told, it will get worse. Others are worried that their parents won't believe them or do anything about it. Or kids worry that their parents will urge them to fight back when they're scared to.
Praise your child for being brave enough to talk about it. Remind your child that he or she isn't alone — a lot of people get bullied at some point. Emphasize that it's the bully who is behaving badly — not your child. Reassure your child that you will figure out what to do about it together.
Sometimes an older sibling or friend can help deal with the situation. It may help your daughter to hear how the older sister she idolizes was teased about her braces and how she dealt with it. An older sibling or friend may also be able to give you some perspective on what's happening at school, or wherever the bullying is happening, and help you figure out the best solution.
Take it seriously if your hear that the bullying will get worse if the bully finds out that your child told. Sometimes it's useful to approach the bully's parents. In other cases, teachers or counselors are the best ones to contact first. If you've tried those methods and still want to speak to the bullying child's parents, it's best to do so in a context where a school official, such as a counselor, can mediate.
Many states have bullying laws and policies. Find out about the laws in your community. In certain cases, if you have serious concerns about your child's safety, you may need to contact legal authorities.
Advice for Kids
The key to helping kids is providing strategies that deal with bullying on an everyday basis and also help restore their self-esteem and regain a sense of dignity.
It may be tempting to tell a kid to fight back. After all, you're angry that your child is suffering and maybe you were told to "stand up for yourself" when you were young. And you may worry that your child will continue to suffer at the hands of the bully.
But it's important to advise kids not to respond to bullying by fighting or bullying back. It can quickly escalate into violence, trouble, and someone getting injured. Instead, it's best to walk away from the situation, hang out with others, and tell an adult.
Here are some other strategies to discuss with kids that can help improve the situation and make them feel better:
Avoid the bully and use the buddy system. Use a different bathroom if a bully is nearby and don't go to your locker when there is nobody around. Make sure you have someone with you so that you're not alone with the bully. Buddy up with a friend on the bus, in the hallways, or at recess — wherever the bully is. Offer to do the same for a friend.
Hold the anger. It's natural to get upset by the bully, but that's what bullies thrive on. It makes them feel more powerful. Practice not reacting by crying or looking red or upset. It takes a lot of practice, but it's a useful skill for keeping off of a bully's radar. Sometimes kids find it useful to practice "cool down" strategies such as counting to 10, writing down their angry words, taking deep breaths or walking away. Sometimes the best thing to do is to teach kids to wear a "poker face" until they are clear of any danger (smiling or laughing may provoke the bully).
Act brave, walk away, and ignore the bully. Firmly and clearly tell the bully to stop, then walk away. Practice ways to ignore the hurtful remarks, like acting uninterested or texting someone on your cell phone. By ignoring the bully, you're showing that you don't care. Eventually, the bully will probably get bored with trying to bother you.
Tell an adult. Teachers, principals, parents, and lunchroom personnel at school can all help stop bullying.
Talk about it. Talk to someone you trust, such as a guidance counselor, teacher, sibling, or friend. They may offer some helpful suggestions, and even if they can't fix the situation, it may help you feel a little less alone.
Remove the incentives. If the bully is demanding your lunch money, start bringing your lunch. If he's trying to get your music player, don't bring it to school.
Reaching Out
At home you can lessen the impact of the bullying. Encourage your kids to get together with friends that help build their confidence. Help them meet other kids by joining clubs or sports programs. And find activities that can help a child feel confident and strong. Maybe it's a self-defense class like karate or a movement or other gym class.
And just remember: as upsetting as bullying can be for you and your family, lots of people and resources are available to help.
To learn more about child safety and bullying, visit kidshealth.org or http://kidshealth.org/parent/emotions/behavior/bullies.html#
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Bicycle Safety Tips!
In addition to Child Identification, we here at Ident-A-Kid are also concerned with your child’s physical safety. Each year approximately 250 children ages 14 and under are killed in bicycle-related incidents. 90% of bicycle related deaths (all ages) are the result of collisions with motor vehicles. Children between the ages of 5 and 14 have a death rate more than two times the death rate of all other bicycle riders. The fatality rate rises rapidly beginning at about age 4 and is the highest among 12 to 14-year olds. In 1994, almost 400,000 children ages 14 and under were treated in emergency rooms for bicycle related injuries. Approximately 10 percent of these injuries were related to collisions with motor vehicles. Children ages 14 and under are approximately six times more likely to be injured than children ages 15 and older from bicycle-related crashes. Children ages 4 and under are also at risk from bicycle related deaths and injuries. In 1993, six children were killed, more than 10,000 suffered from head injuries and more than 22,000 suffered from face injuries. Below are some rules about bicycle safety that you can teach your children, from the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration.
Wear a Properly Fitted Bicycle Helmet. Protect your brain, save your life. For more information see the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration publication “Easy Steps to Properly Fit a Bicycle Helmet.”
Adjust Your Bicycle to Fit. Stand over your bicycle. There should be 1 to 2 inches between you and the top tube (bar) if using a road bike and 3 to 4 inches if a mountain bicycle. The seat should be level front to back. The seat height should be adjusted to allow a slight bend at the knee when the leg is fully extended. The handlebar height should be at the same level with the seat.
Check Your Equipment. Before riding, inflate tires properly and check that your brakes work.
See and Be Seen. Whether daytime, dawn, dusk, foul weather, or at night, you need to be seen by others. Wearing white has not been shown to make you more visible. Rather, always wear neon, fluorescent, or other bright colors when riding day or night. Also wear something that reflects light, such as reflective tape or markings, or flashing lights. Remember, just because you can see a driver doesn’t mean the driver can see you.
Control Your Bicycle. Always ride with at least one hand on the handlebars. Carry books and other items in a bicycle carrier or backpack.
Watch for and Avoid Road Hazards. Be on the lookout for hazards such as potholes, broken glass, gravel, puddles, leaves, and dogs. All these hazards can cause a crash. If you are riding with friends and you are in the lead, yell out and point to the hazard to alert the riders behind you.
Avoid Riding at Night. It is far more dangerous to ride at night than during the day because you are harder for others to see. If you have to ride at night, wear something that makes you more easily seen by others. Make sure you have reflectors on the front and rear of your bicycle (white lights on the front and red rear reflectors are required by law in many States), in addition to reflectors on your tires, so others can see you.
Rules of the Road – Bicycling on the Road
Bicycles in many States are considered vehicles, and cyclists have the same rights and the same responsibilities to follow the rules of the road as motorists. When riding, always:
Go With the Traffic Flow. Ride on the right in the same direction as other vehicles. Go with the flow – not against it.
Obey All Traffic Laws. A bicycle is a vehicle and you’re a driver. When you ride in the street, obey all traffic signs, signals, and lane markings.
Yield to Traffic When Appropriate. Almost always, drivers on a smaller road must yield (wait) for traffic on a major or larger road. If there is no stop sign or traffic signal and you are coming from a smaller roadway (out of a driveway, from a sidewalk, a bike path, etc.), you must slow down and look to see if the way is clear before proceeding. This also means yielding to pedestrians who have already entered a crosswalk.
Be Predictable. Ride in a straight line, not in and out of cars. Signal your moves to others.
Stay Alert at All Times. Use your eyes AND ears. Watch out for potholes, cracks, wet leaves, storm grates, railroad tracks, or anything that could make you lose control of your bike. You need your ears to hear traffic and avoid dangerous situations; don’t wear a headset when you ride.
Look Before Turning. When turning left or right, always look behind you for a break in traffic, then signal before making the turn. Watch for left- or right-turning traffic.
Watch for Parked Cars. Ride far enough out from the curb to avoid the unexpected from parked cars (like doors opening, or cars pulling out).
Sidewalk versus Street Riding
The safest place for bicycle riding is on the street, where bicycles are expected to follow the same rules of the road as motorists and ride in the same direction.
Children less than 10 years old, however, are not mature enough to make the decisions necessary to safely ride in the street.
Children less than 10 years old are better off riding on the sidewalk.
For anyone riding on a sidewalk:
Check the law in your State or jurisdiction to make sure sidewalk riding is allowed.
Watch for vehicles coming out of or turning into driveways.
Stop at corners of sidewalks and streets to look for cars and to make sure the drivers
see you before crossing.
Enter a street at a corner and not between parked cars. Alert pedestrians that you are near by saying, “Excuse me,” or, “Passing on your left,” or use a bell or horn.
For more information about bicycle safety for you and your child, visit the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration at http://www.nhtsa.dot.gov/
Wear a Properly Fitted Bicycle Helmet. Protect your brain, save your life. For more information see the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration publication “Easy Steps to Properly Fit a Bicycle Helmet.”
Adjust Your Bicycle to Fit. Stand over your bicycle. There should be 1 to 2 inches between you and the top tube (bar) if using a road bike and 3 to 4 inches if a mountain bicycle. The seat should be level front to back. The seat height should be adjusted to allow a slight bend at the knee when the leg is fully extended. The handlebar height should be at the same level with the seat.
Check Your Equipment. Before riding, inflate tires properly and check that your brakes work.
See and Be Seen. Whether daytime, dawn, dusk, foul weather, or at night, you need to be seen by others. Wearing white has not been shown to make you more visible. Rather, always wear neon, fluorescent, or other bright colors when riding day or night. Also wear something that reflects light, such as reflective tape or markings, or flashing lights. Remember, just because you can see a driver doesn’t mean the driver can see you.
Control Your Bicycle. Always ride with at least one hand on the handlebars. Carry books and other items in a bicycle carrier or backpack.
Watch for and Avoid Road Hazards. Be on the lookout for hazards such as potholes, broken glass, gravel, puddles, leaves, and dogs. All these hazards can cause a crash. If you are riding with friends and you are in the lead, yell out and point to the hazard to alert the riders behind you.
Avoid Riding at Night. It is far more dangerous to ride at night than during the day because you are harder for others to see. If you have to ride at night, wear something that makes you more easily seen by others. Make sure you have reflectors on the front and rear of your bicycle (white lights on the front and red rear reflectors are required by law in many States), in addition to reflectors on your tires, so others can see you.
Rules of the Road – Bicycling on the Road
Bicycles in many States are considered vehicles, and cyclists have the same rights and the same responsibilities to follow the rules of the road as motorists. When riding, always:
Go With the Traffic Flow. Ride on the right in the same direction as other vehicles. Go with the flow – not against it.
Obey All Traffic Laws. A bicycle is a vehicle and you’re a driver. When you ride in the street, obey all traffic signs, signals, and lane markings.
Yield to Traffic When Appropriate. Almost always, drivers on a smaller road must yield (wait) for traffic on a major or larger road. If there is no stop sign or traffic signal and you are coming from a smaller roadway (out of a driveway, from a sidewalk, a bike path, etc.), you must slow down and look to see if the way is clear before proceeding. This also means yielding to pedestrians who have already entered a crosswalk.
Be Predictable. Ride in a straight line, not in and out of cars. Signal your moves to others.
Stay Alert at All Times. Use your eyes AND ears. Watch out for potholes, cracks, wet leaves, storm grates, railroad tracks, or anything that could make you lose control of your bike. You need your ears to hear traffic and avoid dangerous situations; don’t wear a headset when you ride.
Look Before Turning. When turning left or right, always look behind you for a break in traffic, then signal before making the turn. Watch for left- or right-turning traffic.
Watch for Parked Cars. Ride far enough out from the curb to avoid the unexpected from parked cars (like doors opening, or cars pulling out).
Sidewalk versus Street Riding
The safest place for bicycle riding is on the street, where bicycles are expected to follow the same rules of the road as motorists and ride in the same direction.
Children less than 10 years old, however, are not mature enough to make the decisions necessary to safely ride in the street.
Children less than 10 years old are better off riding on the sidewalk.
For anyone riding on a sidewalk:
Check the law in your State or jurisdiction to make sure sidewalk riding is allowed.
Watch for vehicles coming out of or turning into driveways.
Stop at corners of sidewalks and streets to look for cars and to make sure the drivers
see you before crossing.
Enter a street at a corner and not between parked cars. Alert pedestrians that you are near by saying, “Excuse me,” or, “Passing on your left,” or use a bell or horn.
For more information about bicycle safety for you and your child, visit the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration at http://www.nhtsa.dot.gov/
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